The phase when fairness matters most, differences get noticed, and your enthusiastic kid thinks anything, “Sounds like fun!”
Third Grade:
PARENT RESOURCE CENTER
You are still in the golden age of childhood. No one should have a favorite phase, but if you like this phase a whole lot, you aren’t alone. Your kid is impressionable, enthusiastic, and excited about what you are excited about. If you think something sounds like fun, it won’t take much to convince them it really is fun. (That may not be as easy in a few years).
This phase is a blend of capable and dependent.
Your third grader’s brain is changing in some incredible ways. They are developing their ability to empathize, but they are still quick to put people (including themselves) into categories. They may be quick to let you know, for example, if they are “athletic” or “not athletic.”
Differences display their uniqueness.
The world of your third grader is highly defined. Things are right or they are wrong. Someone is either good, or they are bad. And if you happen to give someone else the larger slice-you will find out pretty quickly to which category you belong.
Fairness matters.
the Third Grade Phase
welcome to
water regularly
In Elementary:
Emphasize engaging in your child's interests to demonstrate trusting in God's character. Water the seeds and, as they sprout up, cultivate community and nurture their sense of discovery to prepare your child for what comes next.
In the Third Grade phase, your role is to engage their interests.
- Elementary schoolers think like a scientist | You help them learn when you… give them concrete examples.
- Elementary schoolers want to know, “Do I have what it takes?” | You capture their hearts when you… encourage their efforts.
- Elementary schoolers are motivated by fun | You coach them when you… play on their level.
Think. Want. Motivate.
Rhythms & Responses
Make the most of Each moment (Eph 5:16)
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Why Rhythms & Responses Matter:
Look therefore carefully how ye walk, not as unwise, but as wise; redeeming the time, because the days are evil. (Eph 5:15–16)
In other words: Life is short & the days are evil. Days, however, are also opportunities.
Our English word opportunity comes from a Latin word meaning, “toward the port,” suggesting that a ship can take advantage of the winds and tides to navigate safely toward the harbor.
The brevity of life makes it all the more important to make the best use of the opportunities God gives us. Much like a ship, in life's short journey, there are winds and tides that can be leveraged for a good purpose.
In Paul’s time, when Roman persecution was on the way, how foolish to waste opportunities to win the lost when soon those opportunities might be taken away! In the moments we have with our children, this is why our rhythms and responses matter: that by the grace of God, we could redeem the time we have, no matter how fleeting or frustrating.
Be a counselor. Strengthen you relationship through heart conversations at the end of the day.
Bed TIME
Be a teacher. Establish values with intentional conversations while you eat together.
Meal TIME
Be a friend. Interpret life during informal conversations as you travel.
Drive TIME
Be a coach. Instill purpose be starting the day with encouraging words.
MORNING TIME
be wise with your time.
“Don’t ever tire of doing the right thing.” 2 Thessalonians 3:13
Repeat and memorize simple Bible verses together.
"I’m not sure where that passage is. Let’s look it up together."
"When I first followed Jesus…"
Share your faith story.
be wise with your words.
This year you will provoke discovery so your child will trust God’s character and experience God’s family.
As your third grader gains more independence, this is a great year to encourage personal devotional time. Help them develop a habit of spending time alone with God.
But, don’t let their faith become private; continue having other faith conversations as you go about your days together.
show authentic faith
– Proverbs 22:6
Train up a child in the way he should go;
even when he is old he will not depart from it.
Our aim as parents
Child Developments & Change
Your Child's Growing Capabilities (1 Cor 3:2)
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Why Development & Change Matters:
But I, brothers, could not address you as spiritual people, but as people of the flesh, as infants in Christ. I fed you with milk, not solid food, for you were not ready for it. And even now you are not yet ready. (1 Cor 3:1-2)
At one point in time, you had to start out with the basics. As you learned and you grew, you were able to handle more difficult things. This is why Paul compares himself to a mother in places like 1 Cor 4:15 and 1 Thess 2:7.
A major part of intentional Christian parenting means giving your children what they need when they need it. By being aware of their milestones and tendencies, you can adjust their goals with their capabilities.
Then, as they near their next milestone, you're there waiting to celebrate, and you're ready to give them more. A good parent knows when their children need to grow. Instead of just leaving them with milk, like Paul, we should desire to give them more and more as they become ready for it.
As your child grows, this is why you need to navigate the changes well: that by the grace of God, you could help them stretch and learn to know the Gospel at every age. To do this, you can't just meet them where they are, you must know how to gently push them on where they need to go.
- Tends to be energetic, enthusiastic and impatient
- Overall feels more independent and confident
- Developing their sense of humor with riddles, magic tracks, and jokes
- May be quick to label themselves (“athletic” vs. “not athletic”…)
- Needs to experience moderate challenges and success
emotionally
- Enjoys cooperative, group activities
- Places a high value on fairness and consistency
- Shows gender preference for friends
- Starts to gather in larger friend groups and responds to peer pressure
socially
- Concentrates on one activity up to 30 minutes
- Increasingly aware of the feelings of others
- Recognizes patterns and symbolism
- May enjoy reading books both for fun and for learning
- Focuses on one thing at a time and struggles with abstract concepts
- Has a highly definitive perspective (things are either right or wrong)
mentally
- Continues losing baby teeth including molars (9-12 years)
- Grows approximately three inches and gains seven pounds, in spurts
- Hand-eye coordination is improving
- Play hard, tires quickly, and benefits from short “breaks”
- Needs 10-11 hours of sleep each night
physically
your child is changing...
In elementary, you are setting the stage for truth based on what is black and white, as well as creating habits that could last a decade.
Resources For This Stage
No matter how much you prepare, no matter how much you work, you're going to miss something. You're going to mess up. You're going to say or do something you regret. And yes, God can redeem even your short-comings as a parent.
To the best of our ability, we can hope that we use the tools given to us to be Godly parents, grandparents, and mentors. But thanks be to God that the salvation of the children in our care does not depend solely on us.
To play on Paul's words in 1 Corinthians 3, I ask: What then is a father? What then is a mother? One can plant, and one can water, but it is God who gives the increase.
So, as a parent, do what you can. And aim to do it well. But trust that God, who is able to do far more abundantly than all that you could ask or think, will be glorified throughout all generations, even yours.
God's got this.
This all might sound like a lot, but I can assure you...
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