The phase when nobody's on time, everything’s a mess, and one eager toddler will insist, “I can do it.”
You feel it the first time they try to feed themselves and dump applesauce down the front of their shirt. Just remember, by letting them do some things “myself,” they’re not only learning new skills, they’re also developing the confidence they need to move to the next phase
Their struggle for independence has begun.
Expect a few mismatched outfits, magic marker tattoos, sticker collages, and other various states of creative expression. In this phase, you will choose not only your battles, but also which messes will just have to be tolerated.
Look forward to a few fashion statements.
Maybe you had to wait for your toddler to “do it myself” (just try and stop them). Or maybe they impressively filled a clean diaper just as you got into the car. Whatever the reason, this phase will make even the most-punctual-adult miss the mark occasionally.
Expect to be late.
Emphasize embracing your child's physical needs to plant the seeds of your child knowing God's love. Especially in these early years, forming familiarity with Church and modeling faith patterns prepare your child for what comes next.
Look therefore carefully how ye walk, not as unwise, but as wise; redeeming the time, because the days are evil. (Eph 5:15–16)
In other words: Life is short & the days are evil. Days, however, are also opportunities.
Our English word opportunity comes from a Latin word meaning, “toward the port,” suggesting that a ship can take advantage of the winds and tides to navigate safely toward the harbor.
The brevity of life makes it all the more important to make the best use of the opportunities God gives us. Much like a ship, in life's short journey, there are winds and tides that can be leveraged for a good purpose.
In Paul’s time, when Roman persecution was on the way, how foolish to waste opportunities to win the lost when soon those opportunities might be taken away! In the moments we have with our children, this is why our rhythms and responses matter: that by the grace of God, we could redeem the time we have, no matter how fleeting or frustrating.
Wind down together. Provide comfort as the day draws to a close.
Be personal. Spend one-on-one time that communicates love and affection.
Reinforce simple ideas. Talk to your toddler and play music as you go.
Set the mood for the day. Smile. Greet them with words of love.
"God, Thank you for…"
"God, please help us…"
Pray aloud while you are with your one-year-old.
"God made me. God loves me.
Jesus wants me to be my friend forever."
"Jesus loves me."
Sing songs together.
This year you will incite wonder so your child will know God’s love and meet God’s family.
Your one-year-old listens to your words. So this phase is the perfect time to begin and continue talking, singing, and praying together with your toddler.
To get started, simply incorporate faith into your daily routines.
– Proverbs 22:6
Train up a child in the way he should go;
even when he is old he will not depart from it.
But I, brothers, could not address you as spiritual people, but as people of the flesh, as infants in Christ. I fed you with milk, not solid food, for you were not ready for it. And even now you are not yet ready. (1 Cor 3:1-2)
At one point in time, you had to start out with the basics. As you learned and you grew, you were able to handle more difficult things. This is why Paul compares himself to a mother in places like 1 Cor 4:15 and 1 Thess 2:7.
A major part of intentional Christian parenting means giving your children what they need when they need it. By being aware of their milestones and tendencies, you can adjust their goals with their capabilities.
Then, as they near their next milestone, you're there waiting to celebrate, and you're ready to give them more. A good parent knows when their children need to grow. Instead of just leaving them with milk, like Paul, we should desire to give them more and more as they become ready for it.
As your child grows, this is why you need to navigate the changes well: that by the grace of God, you could help them stretch and learn to know the Gospel at every age. To do this, you can't just meet them where they are, you must know how to gently push them on where they need to go.
No matter how much you prepare, no matter how much you work, you're going to miss something. You're going to mess up. You're going to say or do something you regret. And yes, God can redeem even your short-comings as a parent.
To the best of our ability, we can hope that we use the tools given to us to be Godly parents, grandparents, and mentors. But thanks be to God that the salvation of the children in our care does not depend solely on us.
To play on Paul's words in 1 Corinthians 3, I ask: What then is a father? What then is a mother? One can plant, and one can water, but it is God who gives the increase.
So, as a parent, do what you can. And aim to do it well. But trust that God, who is able to do far more abundantly than all that you could ask or think, will be glorified throughout all generations, even yours.
This all might sound like a lot, but I can assure you...
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