The phase when it's cool to have choices, it's not cool to answer questions, and one smart kid will remind you, "Yeah... I know."
Eighth Grade:
PARENT RESOURCE CENTER
Your eighth grader may answer your questions with one word, an eye-roll, or an all-too-clear facial expression. But don't mistranslate the cues. Eighth graders actually want to have adult conversations sometimes. Be available even if it seems a little pointless.
Re-define the conversation.
In fact, there may be no phase quite as smart as this one-just ask them. Being so much smarter than everyone else can really become a burden. Sometimes their patience just runs out, and they simply can't explain it to you one more time. On some occasions, have fun going toe-to-toe with your eighth grader and challenge them back. Just remember, the important thing is how they personalize what they believe in this phase. So encourage their personal discoveries.
Eight graders are smart.
Remember when you had a two-year-old who wanted to "do it myself?" Your teenager's resistance may not come in the form of a toddler tantrum, but the emotions may feel familiar. Whenever possible, give options so they have some freedom to choose.
Give options whenever possible.
the Eighth Grade Phase
welcome to
Embrace your preteen's identity through pruning and shaping them on their faith journey. Subtle but consistent nudges in this stage have the potential to propel your child on through the stage that comes next.
prune patiently
In Middle School:
In the Eighth Grade phase, your is to affirm their personal journey.
- Middle schoolers think like an engineer. | You help them learn when you… connect the dots.
- Middle schoolers want to know, “Who do I want to be?” | You coach them when you… provide stability.
- Middle schoolers are motivated by acceptance. | You coach them when you… affirm their value.
Think. Want. Motivate.
Rhythms & Responses
Make the most of Each moment (Eph 5:16)
Click to read more
Why Rhythms & Responses Matter:
Look therefore carefully how ye walk, not as unwise, but as wise; redeeming the time, because the days are evil. (Eph 5:15–16)
In other words: Life is short & the days are evil. Days, however, are also opportunities.
Our English word opportunity comes from a Latin word meaning, “toward the port,” suggesting that a ship can take advantage of the winds and tides to navigate safely toward the harbor.
The brevity of life makes it all the more important to make the best use of the opportunities God gives us. Much like a ship, in life's short journey, there are winds and tides that can be leveraged for a good purpose.
In Paul’s time, when Roman persecution was on the way, how foolish to waste opportunities to win the lost when soon those opportunities might be taken away! In the moments we have with our children, this is why our rhythms and responses matter: that by the grace of God, we could redeem the time we have, no matter how fleeting or frustrating.
Listen to their heart by staying available--just in case.
Bed TIME
Establish values with intentional conversations while you eat together.
Meal TIME
Interpret life during informal conversation as you travel.
Drive TIME
Instill purpose when you start the day with encouraging words.
MORNING TIME
be wise with your time.
"Can we pray about this together?"
"God will never stop loving you."
"What would be a fun way we could serve others together?"
Consider serving at your church or local ministry that appeals to your eighth grader's interests.
be wise with your words.
This year you will provoke discovery so your eighth grader will own their faith and value a faith community.
Your eighth grader wants to discover how faith applies to them, right now. Connect Biblical truth to their everyday world by purchasing a youth Bible, so they have access to articles and devotional copy that can inspire them. And, connect faith to everyday experiences through conversations at home.
show authentic faith
– Proverbs 22:6
Train up a child in the way he should go;
even when he is old he will not depart from it.
Our aim as parents
Child Developments & Change
Your Child's Growing Capabilities (1 Cor 3:2)
Click to read more
Why Development & Change Matters:
But I, brothers, could not address you as spiritual people, but as people of the flesh, as infants in Christ. I fed you with milk, not solid food, for you were not ready for it. And even now you are not yet ready. (1 Cor 3:1-2)
At one point in time, you had to start out with the basics. As you learned and you grew, you were able to handle more difficult things. This is why Paul compares himself to a mother in places like 1 Cor 4:15 and 1 Thess 2:7.
A major part of intentional Christian parenting means giving your children what they need when they need it. By being aware of their milestones and tendencies, you can adjust their goals with their capabilities.
Then, as they near their next milestone, you're there waiting to celebrate, and you're ready to give them more. A good parent knows when their children need to grow. Instead of just leaving them with milk, like Paul, we should desire to give them more and more as they become ready for it.
As your child grows, this is why you need to navigate the changes well: that by the grace of God, you could help them stretch and learn to know the Gospel at every age. To do this, you can't just meet them where they are, you must know how to gently push them on where they need to go.
- Enjoys sarcasm and sophisticated jokes
- Often interested in leadership roles and teaching younger children
- May emphasize physical appearance and performance
- Tends to overschedule their time
- Often feels more comfortable in their own skin
emotionally
- Often interested in pop culture, slang, current events, or politics
- Wants to negotiate rules
- Displays an increasingly adult-like personality
- Needs non-parental adult influences
- More concerned about personal appearance than personal environment (like the state of their locker or bedroom)
socially
- Capable of self-evaluation and self-critique
- Able to see two sides of an argument
- Enjoys forming and sharing their opinion
- Sudden brain growth may lead to forgetfulness
- Growing ability to organize
mentally
- Needs 9-11 hours of sleep each night, may easily fatigue or develop headaches
- Girls outpace guys in development
- Guys experience changes in height and body shape, and may develop body odor, body hair, and increased muscle mass
- Girls experience a significant growth spurt, development of body odor, body hair, and breasts, and menstruation is likely (10-16 years)
physically
your child is changing...
In Middle School, the big conversation is social media. Be ready to help them navigate that, and many more questions, with wisdom.
Resources For This Stage
No matter how much you prepare, no matter how much you work, you're going to miss something. You're going to mess up. You're going to say or do something you regret. And yes, God can redeem even your short-comings as a parent.
To the best of our ability, we can hope that we use the tools given to us to be Godly parents, grandparents, and mentors. But thanks be to God that the salvation of the children in our care does not depend solely on us.
To play on Paul's words in 1 Corinthians 3, I ask: What then is a father? What then is a mother? One can plant, and one can water, but it is God who gives the increase.
So, as a parent, do what you can. And aim to do it well. But trust that God, who is able to do far more abundantly than all that you could ask or think, will be glorified throughout all generations, even yours.
God's got this.
This all might sound like a lot, but I can assure you...
201 s. peachtree parkway, ptc, ga | contact us | IMAGES By Maddyem photography