The phase when friends are best friends, games are for competition, and your confident kid will insist, “I’ve got this.”
Fifth Grade:
PARENT RESOURCE CENTER
This is the top of the elementary school food chain. Fifth graders frequently demonstrate a clarity of mind that comes with knowing the ropes. Lean into that confidence and build it. Let them know you see their potential. They need to know you believe in them before they get to the next phase. There’s no such thing as an overly confident middle schooler.
Natural confidence rules.
With a “lifetime” of experience under their belt and a “no fear” attitude, a fifth grader is virtually unstoppable. They are skilled, smart, and ready for the world to take notice. Fifth graders often thrive with competition because it’s one more way to show you how smart and fast and strong they really are.
Competition can be fun.
It’s not that friends matter more than you. It’s just that they matter more than you when it comes to advice on some things. If your fifth grader is doing, saying, or wearing something that confuses you, check out what their peers are doing, saying, or wearing.
Friends matter more.
the Fifth Grade Phase
welcome to
water regularly
In Elementary:
Emphasize engaging in your child's interests to demonstrate trusting in God's character. Water the seeds and, as they sprout up, cultivate community and nurture their sense of discovery to prepare your child for what comes next.
In the Fifth Grade phase, your role is to engage their interests.
- Elementary schoolers think like a scientist | You help them learn when you… give them a challenge.
- Elementary schoolers want to know, “Do I have friends?” | You capture their hearts when you… develop friendships.
- Elementary schoolers are motivated by fun | You coach them when you… invite others to join in.
Think. Want. Motivate.
Rhythms & Responses
Make the most of Each moment (Eph 5:16)
Click to read more
Why Rhythms & Responses Matter:
Look therefore carefully how ye walk, not as unwise, but as wise; redeeming the time, because the days are evil. (Eph 5:15–16)
In other words: Life is short & the days are evil. Days, however, are also opportunities.
Our English word opportunity comes from a Latin word meaning, “toward the port,” suggesting that a ship can take advantage of the winds and tides to navigate safely toward the harbor.
The brevity of life makes it all the more important to make the best use of the opportunities God gives us. Much like a ship, in life's short journey, there are winds and tides that can be leveraged for a good purpose.
In Paul’s time, when Roman persecution was on the way, how foolish to waste opportunities to win the lost when soon those opportunities might be taken away! In the moments we have with our children, this is why our rhythms and responses matter: that by the grace of God, we could redeem the time we have, no matter how fleeting or frustrating.
Be a counselor. Strengthen you relationship through heart conversations at the end of the day.
Bed TIME
Be a teacher. Establish values with intentional conversations while you eat together.
Meal TIME
Be a friend. Interpret life during informal conversations as you travel.
Drive TIME
Be a coach. Instill purpose be starting the day with encouraging words.
MORNING TIME
be wise with your time.
"Have you read anything in the Bible that means a lot to you right now?"
Talk about the Bible.
"Having faith isn’t always easy, but we can trust God no matter what."
"If you were them, how do you think you would want to be treated?"
be wise with your words.
This year you will provoke discovery so your child will trust God’s character and experience God’s family.
In this phase where friendships matter more, so does your kid’s faith community. As your kid gets ready to move into your church’s youth ministry, look for ways to prioritize their church connection, and continue having faith conversations at home.
show authentic faith
– Proverbs 22:6
Train up a child in the way he should go;
even when he is old he will not depart from it.
Our aim as parents
Child Developments & Change
Your Child's Growing Capabilities (1 Cor 3:2)
Click to read more
Why Development & Change Matters:
But I, brothers, could not address you as spiritual people, but as people of the flesh, as infants in Christ. I fed you with milk, not solid food, for you were not ready for it. And even now you are not yet ready. (1 Cor 3:1-2)
At one point in time, you had to start out with the basics. As you learned and you grew, you were able to handle more difficult things. This is why Paul compares himself to a mother in places like 1 Cor 4:15 and 1 Thess 2:7.
A major part of intentional Christian parenting means giving your children what they need when they need it. By being aware of their milestones and tendencies, you can adjust their goals with their capabilities.
Then, as they near their next milestone, you're there waiting to celebrate, and you're ready to give them more. A good parent knows when their children need to grow. Instead of just leaving them with milk, like Paul, we should desire to give them more and more as they become ready for it.
As your child grows, this is why you need to navigate the changes well: that by the grace of God, you could help them stretch and learn to know the Gospel at every age. To do this, you can't just meet them where they are, you must know how to gently push them on where they need to go.
- Tends to be confident and content
- May be easily embarrassed about their body
- Needs to experience moderate failure and consequences to build resilience
- Wants to be seen as “independent” and “mature”
- May be drawn to a humanitarian cause and enjoy service opportunities
emotionally
- Enjoys cooperative, group games
- Desires more personal privacy
- Often thrives in competitive situations
- Benefits from having a same-gender best friend
- May be interested in or curious about opposite-gender relationships (but rarely admits it)
socially
- Very skilled at memorizing facts
- May enjoy collecting (cards, rocks, coins, etc.)
- Able to collaborate on rules and consequences
- Beginning to understand abstract concepts
- Enjoys problem solving
mentally
- Continues losing baby teeth including molars (9-12 years)
- Improves in speed, force, and body control
- Needs physical activity and may become restless
- May show signs of early stages of puberty: acne, mood swings, changes in weight and height (girls 8-9, boys 9-12 years)
- Needs 10-11 hours of sleep each night
physically
your child is changing...
In elementary, you are setting the stage for truth based on what is black and white, as well as creating habits that could last a decade.
Resources For This Stage
No matter how much you prepare, no matter how much you work, you're going to miss something. You're going to mess up. You're going to say or do something you regret. And yes, God can redeem even your short-comings as a parent.
To the best of our ability, we can hope that we use the tools given to us to be Godly parents, grandparents, and mentors. But thanks be to God that the salvation of the children in our care does not depend solely on us.
To play on Paul's words in 1 Corinthians 3, I ask: What then is a father? What then is a mother? One can plant, and one can water, but it is God who gives the increase.
So, as a parent, do what you can. And aim to do it well. But trust that God, who is able to do far more abundantly than all that you could ask or think, will be glorified throughout all generations, even yours.
God's got this.
This all might sound like a lot, but I can assure you...
201 s. peachtree parkway, ptc, ga | contact us | IMAGES By Maddyem photography